so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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