dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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