her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
