Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
