peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
