i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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