Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize