I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
