He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
