The brown eye won't let me do that either.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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