i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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