She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
