Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
