Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
