we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
