I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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