how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
