What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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