Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
