I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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