Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
