First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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