I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
