I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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