oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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