I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
nutella sex= disaster
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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