do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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