btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she looked like the before picture.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
