I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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