Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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