All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
