I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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