she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
