BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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