Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
