Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum