YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
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Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference