she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?