Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
