Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
