Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
