Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
