i was rollin on her like bob the builder
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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