I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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