It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
