Is it normal to miss your booty call?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
