That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
