this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
