I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just found puke in my bra..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
