she was so not down for the gang bang
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
