Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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