4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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