Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
