I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
