belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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