I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
