She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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