Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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