I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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