yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
