i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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