he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
