saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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