she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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