she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
