don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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