No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
