Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
