can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
